His Ears

Pictures in this post were photographed by Kristi Witek when Noah was exactly one week old--nearly three months ago! We recently received the disc of pictures in a package--and I'm so excited to have them. I'm very glad we had a chance to get some family pictures, and then some of just the kids. 

When Noah was first born, I didn't notice his ears right away. Adam pointed them out to me immediately, once Noah was finished getting checked out by the nurses. My first reaction was dismay. What in the heck was wrong with his ears? I have never noticed or heard of skin tags before. Alas, for my ignorance, I didn't even know what to google at first.

Within hours, we knew a little more about skin tags, having 'educated' ourselves with some online searches. By the time the pediatrician checked Noah we were prepared with some questions. The first thing that the doctor said was that Noah should have his kidneys checked for any abnormalities since ear tags on both ears are in rare cases connected to kidney issues. He ordered an ultrasound, and sometime during the night/early morning of his first day he was getting his first ultra sound.

The results were good, and I felt relieved. Who knew that skin tags were a sign of kidney abnormalities?! Over the course of the next month, we had upwards of 8 doctors tell us that Noah could have his skin tags removed quite easily. It would be the most convenient to do so during his hand surgery since he would already be under anesthesia. It would just add 10-15 minutes to the operation time. I took some level of comfort in knowing that Noah could have 'normal' ears in the near future. My confession for the moment is that I didn't love his skin tags at first sight. It has taken me nearly three months to get used to them. To not loath them as that 'first sign' of something not being right in Noah's body.

But somehow, I love them now. I'm even considering not having them removed at all unless he wants to when he's older. I've decided that I don't want to be the one to make that decision for him. Now, I think they are so much a part of who he is, I would be sad to have them removed at all.

This change of heart came about in several ways, but the most significant reason why is due to China. Which was completely unexpected! When we were flying to China, I had this dread in the pit of my stomach that the Chinese people would pick on Noah because of his skin tags. I know from my experience with the orphans here, that many of the orphans are children with disabilities or birth defects. I didn't want them to reject my son or to mock him for his physical appearance. Perhaps I was over dramatic in my anxiety, and I can acknowledge my wrong thinking.

The first time we went out in public as a family, all we did was walk to the market to buy some food. We took the stroller and enjoyed the feeling of being in China again. But as soon as we arrived at the market, my stomach twisted in knots because people started to gather around us. They can't help it! A foreigner, with an Asian-looking wife, and not one but TWO kids. Not to mention they are little kids--one being a 1 month old baby. They are drawn like moths to a flame and we had a crowd around us the whole trip. They ask questions and pick up on our story, and eventually they start to tell our story to others who join the crowd. I didn't want to explain Noah's story, to have to defend him in another language, to justify anything...It's hard enough to do in English, let alone across the divides of cultures and languages. It's something I wouldn't be able to do fully; and knowing I wouldn't be able to defend him against attacks was terrifying.

 

One enthusiastic lady pointed out Noah's skin tags and basically went into cardiac arrest because she thought they were so cute. She went on and on about how cute they were.  At first, I didn't know if she was making fun of him or not--but it didn't take long to grasp the phrases she was giggling out.

I pretty much choked on my tongue, seeing that this was the exact OPPOSITE reaction I had been preparing the defenses of my heart for.

Thank you, Lord, for mercy in that moment. It was like balm, so soothing and wonderful to hear someone squeal with delight about my son's skin tags. She jumped up and down, clapped her hands, and made all sorts of baby-talk noises. It was a bit shocking, so I thought it was an exception to the rule. 

The next time we went out in public, we stopped in a little accessory shop while in a mall. The ladies in the accessory shop went mental over Noah. They brought out their smart phones to take pictures and were literally screaming with happiness over his ear tags. I was so confused over their reaction, so I asked them why they liked his ears.

"Because they are so special. He has lucky ears." 

 

Almost every time we are out in public, similar scenarios happen. I feared Noah might grow up to the sound of ridicule, but now I think he might become the super-star of our neighborhood. If for the confidence factor alone, Noah is definitely living in the right place!

Even now, I feel wonder in my soul, mixed with guilt in my stomach. These strangers had more appreciation and acceptance for my son's skin tags than I had up to that point. Don't misunderstand me; I love Noah to pieces and I even 'liked' his skin tags...However, they symbolized abnormalities and birth defects. They were something that alerted doctors to danger. They were something that people told us to get removed. They were something to downplay and call attention away from. I'm his own loving mother, and I had start to buy into this!

Yet, these strangers were basically convulsing in excitement because they were so happy about his lucky ears.

Now, I've had a chance to ask around, and I've found out the cultural background to this: Chinese people, culturally, like skin tags. They are marks of luck--one is good--but having two is even better.

So, it's an actual cultural difference that I had never known about before.

....BUT STILL---Chinese people taught me how to love Noah's skin tags, and finally accept them completely.

For some reason, God gave Noah skin tags. 

On a cosmetic level, they are not the West's definition of 'beautiful'. 

To the East, they are markers of 'luck' and prosperity. 

But to me, they are a reminder of God's provision and plan for Noah.  

His deformed ears.
His lucky ears.
His blessed, specially created ears. 

Those first two encounters really helped reshape my mind about having Noah's skin tags removed next year. There's no medical reason why they should be removed; it would be a cosmetic surgery. But is it my call to cosmetically change a baby boy? What would that tell him about body image and self-image. I know it's a common for girls to deal with body image issues, but boys can surely struggle with it too. He'll already have a full plate to deal with his his hands and arms being different sizes and needing corrective surgery for his syndactyly. I don't want to tell him with a few incisions that a surgeon can make on his ears, "you weren't good enough for me".

Man...writing this is very cathartic, guilt wrenching, and liberating.
God is surely find the deep places in my soul, where it's painful to clean, and redefining my ideas of beauty, sovereignty, and provision.

Because of these experiences, I want to teach Noah that his worth isn't based on how he feels about himself, or how others see or treat him (even if all that shakes out positively). Ultimately, his worth is established in who he is in Christ, a child and heir of the King. His physical and spiritual identify needs to be wrapped in the person of Jesus Christ.

If he can learn that at an early age, his ears can be a blessing to him and to others. I pray that he will grow to be thankful for who God created to be. And that he will be able to turn that mindset out towards others and love the least of those around him.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your words; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, everyone of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there were non of them." 

-Psalm 139: 13-16

When I look at Noah, I see glimpses of the man he'll become. I look at his ears and his hand and wonder what challenges he will face. Will they be internal battles, struggles against bullying, or physical hurdles to face? Will he rise above adversity and be shaped by a grace-filled life? Will he become a righteous man, like the Noah of old, a man full of character who was strengthened by trials?

"We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love hasbeen poured inout hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." 

-Romans 5:3-5

In this tension between East vs. West, I have discovered yet another fascinating bit of diversity: skin tags.

To one culture, they are a sign-post of potential difficulty and a defect. To another, they are a symbol of luck and beauty.

If Noah is anything like Willow, he will notice his extra bits of skin by the time he's two years old, and wonder what they are there for. I think I'll tell him that it's where God kissed him, so that he would have ears to hear the Gospel. And to remind him to be a good listener to those who are suffering.

Not only has God redeemed my heart for Noah's skin tags, I believe he will redeem the skin tags themselves. Whatever challenges Noah might face on account of keeping the tags, I know God can use it for good. It reminds me of that passage in Genesis 50 when Joseph was reconciled with his brothers: people can intend evil against others, but God can use those same events and use it for good.

"And we know that for those who love Good all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." 

-Romans 8:28

Enjoy the rest of the pictures. Thank you, Kristi, for sharing your talent with us! I couldn't really choose which I liked the best--hence the plethora.

Noah didn't want to wake up for any portion of this photo shoot. This was the extent of his awake time. He fell right back to sleep after peeking at us for a few seconds.

There's Something About Willow

She continues to make me laugh everyday. She also challenges me on a daily basis, so the joyful moments and the tear filled moments even each other out. I've been trying to 'collect' cute things that she has said or done, in the past few months, and remember them. I'm not sure how long I am supposed to remember these tidbits of cuteness...for my whole life? Until I can share them with her? I've actually been meaning to record them on this blog...and now I've probably forgotten most of them. I need to write it all down before I forget these stories! 

All photos in this post taken by the talented, Kristi Witek, in July and August 2013. 

From day one, Willow has had a strong attachment to her brother and can be very protective/possessive of him. She started calling his pacifier his 'medi' (aka: medicine) the day we left the hospital. She still calls all pacifiers medicine. I'm not sure if she thinks that pacifiers emit some sort of liquid medicine or what...

She has started crossing her arms in front of her chest, or putting her hands on her hips. Such an adolescent already. Lots of sighing too. 

Much to our surprise/amusement/horror, she has started using slang. When frustrated about dropping her special bunny on the driveway (during a road trip), she said "oh gosh" under her breath. Adam and I just looked at each other, with our eyebrows sky high. Last week, I heard her say "oh darn" when she couldn't kill a bug. The bug was actually just a light which she thought was a bug. She might have learned these from me, but she definitely learned "oh man" from her dad.

She is terrified of her minion helium baloon that she got at the school carnival two weeks ago. I have to admit, it is pretty horrifying to walk into a room and feel like someone is watching you--only to look up and fine a large-eyed yellow freak floating in the corner of the ceiling. It's nightmare material and has freaked me out in the middle of the night when I'm soothing Noah. Also freaked me out today, when the almost deflated baloon was waiting for me on the other side of my bedroom door. Nearly lost all control of my bladder. Anyway, to help conquer her fear, she has started walking around the house, holding its hand. And then punching him repeatedly. Not sure this is funny or sad. Does it make me a bad parent?

She learned how to say 'gummies' in references to her gummy vitamins. I'm not sure how she learned that word, since I've never called her vitamins gummies. She learns words like this everyday--not sure how or where, but she's a sponge for vocabulary. 

When she wants something, she proposes her idea. When we repeat her idea back to her, she says "Oh yes!" with lots of up and down movement in the pitch of her voice. It makes it sound like WE proposed the idea and not she. Example:
Willow: ice cream!
Me: you want to eat ice cream?
Willow: oh yes! oh sure. 

Happens many times, everyday. She's pretty good at persuasion.

When a friend's baby spit up, but no one noticed except for Willow---she ran over to find the baby's burp cloth and handed it to the newborn's mom. 

During bedtime one night, when I was tucking her in, she heard Noah laughing in his room. We had never heard him laugh before (Adam was playing with Noah). Her eyes lit up, she giggled, and then jumped out of bed so she could see Noah laughing for herself. She takes so much joy in his development, just like a little mom. Yesterday, when she came inside from playing outdoors with Adam, she heard Noah talking in his baby voice. It sounded a lot like "hi", so she was overjoyed and said "Noah's sayin' hi! Oh! He said hi again!" 

She talks about "Horton Hears a Who" everyday and can talk through the major points of the plot. She started doing this on her own, and I have been so surprised by this skill. I need to take a video of it, because it is priceless--and the teacher in me is so intrigued that she can already summarize a plot. 

She drops the 'g' in most words ending with '-ing'. It's pretty cute.
Willow: What are you doin', mom?
Me: Sitting here, feeding Noah. What are you doing?
Willow: Playin' toys. 

Instead of cereal with milk, she eats granola and yogurt in the morning. But she still calls it cereal. When we were making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies together, she called the rolled oats "cereal'. I thought that was pretty impressive.

Willow is finally counting correctly. The whole summer it was, "one, two, nine, ten, five, seven" etc. 

She can write a "W" and recognizes them in text all the time. She also says 'double-you'--which is pretty cute. 

Willow is currently obsessed with the baby kangaroo from a stuffed animal set. She likes to wrap it up in a blanket and carry it around all day. She burps and shushes it, gives it rides in her doll stroller, and lets it sit in Noah's bouncy seat. She also nurses her stuffed animals, burps them, cleans up their invisible spit up, and changes their diapers. None of this have I encouraged or taught her to do. 

The couch is actually an airplane or a boat, according to Willow. She is constantly navigating the sea or the sky in her vessel. 

She calls soup, "soot". 

Willow expects Adam to take her to the market everyday after he returns home from school. She brings little kuai coins in her coat pocket so that she can ride the mechanical airplanes and cars outside of the shop. She also expects to eat a snack on the way home (like bread rolls or yogurt), and throws away the garbage in the trashcan outside our apartment building before she comes back inside. 

She asks for a drink every night, and places her sippy cup on the ledge of her headboard. It's the perfect sippy cup shelf, in her mind.

Willow loves to interact with Noah, and whenever his eyes are open she exclaims, "eyes ope!" That's right. No 'n' sound. 

 

She has been known to cover Noah up with his burp cloths so that he isn't cold. She wants him to try everything that she can do. Her favorite way to hold him lately, is on her shoulders. Either Adam or I will hold Noah steady as Willow walks (or runs) around the apartment with her brother on her shoulders. She asks, "Hold Noah on shoulders" everyday. It's slightly annoying, but also funny. 

The stool that I use in the kitchen and laundry room (because I'm too short to reach anything) is what she now considers her personal property. She's constantly tearing into the kitchen to retrieve the stool so that she can reach what she wants. 

Willow can finally say Tommy's name--and doesn't have to call him TT anymore. She remembers that TT made her smoothies and that Emma made her coffee--and that the coffee maker was very loud. She remembers that she took rides on tractors, rhinos, gators, and combines. She remembers feeding Jake and Elwood treats and telling them to 'get down' or to sit. She remembers all her grandparents and aunts and uncles too! We talk about our memories from our time in America everyday. 

One of her favorite things to do is put on excessive amounts of chapstick. All over her whole face. "I'm pretty, mom. OOh, pretty!" 

Willow takes so much pleasure in playing with Noah. She likes to make him smile and thinks his little hands and feet are cute. Whenever she thinks something is cute or small she calls it a 'noah'. She also says "it's a tute little noah" and touches her fingers in front of her face while she squints her eyes.

It's been fun taking care of a baby (Noah) and a toddler--who is somewhere between acting like a big kid and yet still my baby. She definitely keeps me entertained all day. She made a train with orange slices today and was jumping around saying "choo choo". She reviewed the principles of sharing this morning, before her friends came over for a play group--"sharing's nice. Kids playin' toys. My toys." 

There's so many cute things I could write about. Like how she checks my ears very carefully in the morning to see if I'm wearing earrings or not. How she snuggles with me in the morning, or asks for a kiss and song before naps. I could also write about how she's sneaky, devious, and disobedient. How she can be too rough, or make huge messes without meaning to. How she struggles with sharing, and hates bedtime routines. I could write about how she's addicted to technology, and can do more on the ipad than I can. Or how she acts out with hunger strikes and refuses to eat more than a bite or two at each meal. She hates wearing baggy clothes and asks for 'tight pants'. What the heck?!

No one can have a dance party like Willow, that's for sure. And her back massages are the hilarious. It feels like a mouse is running on my shoulders.

If there is an art to being cute, crazy, and full of life--Willow is definitely learning to wield it's power. This is a long post...but I really love my little two-year-old and I don't want to forget her at this fun age! Some of my favorite things about Willow right now:  when she looks at Adam, me, or Noah and says, "I love you."; when she sings "10,000 Reasons" with Adam at bedtime (hearing their voices together melts my heart!); her sincere hugs, crazy giggles, and her sass and energy!

 

1 & 2

Noah turned 2 months yesterday, and I'm finally getting around to his 1 month milestone post. Might as well throw in his 2 month post too. Actually, it's late, and I'm trying to make sleep more of a priority. Let's just let the pictures do the talking. Sorry, Noah. But sleep deprivation has really started to take its toll after 9 weeks of caring for you + the sleepless nights I experienced in the last month of pregnancy.

You are so cute. We love you. 

Three-Fifths of the Picture

This picture was taken earlier this year, I think in April (?). Our team had a record of 5 pregnant mamas at the same time! We took a picture together, and are standing in order of our due dates.

 Now, four of those babies are born (though one is in Americ, now). Just waiting for the fifth baby...although now there is also a sixth baby on the way. Another friend on our team has just announced she is pregnant! 

The funny thing is, since we moved here in 2009, there has always been someone on our team who is pregnant. At least one lady has always been pregnant. As soon as she delivers, you hear of another pregnancy! I was trying to count the number of babies since 2009, and I think it's around 15...(?) Plus, many families also have taken care of foster babies. Considering the size of our team, we have quite a lot of babies and small children. 

Here are the babies (three-fifths of them anyway), outside of the womb!
They're sitting in birth order. The baby who is in America, should be sitting between Noah and Nora.

Noah is about 7 weeks.
Nora is about 2 weeks.
Elisha is about 1 week

I think I am correct on those ages....